Home Grown

J. Morris – I read that you were a surrogate. Is it true? Did you donate your eggs?

Yes, I was a surrogate. No, I did not donate my eggs. The child is a product of the sperm and egg of his parents being fertilized in laboratory and then the embryos frozen and waiting. I was a vessel by which a miracle occurred. He is a happy, healthy, well adjusted teen aged young man who knows the full truth. I see him usually most summers when they visit in Virginia.

The Bee – I would like to know your favorite mom moments for each of your kids and your best “wife” moment w/ Steve.

I don’t think I have one favorite moment. I have moments that stand out or flashes of the past that catch up with me sometimes and take my breath away. Things like Colby standing on my mommas coffee table singing or her first day at school or the way she cried when I was forced to work and leave her with a babysitter; Gracie climbing a tree and couldn’t get back down or how happy she was to start kindergarten or the fear of seeing the first respiratory attack raise its head; the way Steven wiggled to cuddle when he nursed or how he speaks so intently with his hands and holds your face and looks right into your eyes. I don’t know if I can isolate one thing so easily not even the moment they were each born. All three experiences where different and yet the same.

Wife moments are different and rest on a different plain. Most I can’t discuss openly. I can tell you this – when I look at him right now I still get that feeling deep in my stomach that is a tingle and butterflies and creates a rush of adrenaline that I feel to my toes. He takes my breath away. He gives me the greatest highs of my life and can equally drag me lower than any other person in the world. He is my everything. I don’t think he will ever truly understand how much I love him.

I went back to the ENT this week. The infection is finally cleared. The hole has to heal. In 30 days if it is not healed over then I may have to have surgery. On my eardrum. Eeek!!

I have to end this short. Absolutely no time this week. More later.

My deepest gratitude to those men and women who serve in our armed forces. My sincerest regards for those families who support those who serve. Freedom is not free. I know the price. God Bless You All.

Steve – If you were guaranteed success in one area in life, what would it be and how would you define success?

I count myself already successful in many ways. I have great kids on the road to attaining a great life in their adulthood. I have a happy, healthy marriage. I have been published and my book is in the Library of Congress. I have my health (save for the dang ear infection but in general very good health). That is certainly a success.

At the same time there are many ways in which I consider myself a failure. I don’t have a beautiful body or face. I don’t have a fancy education or a degree to hang on the wall of an office. This blog and website are not a total fail but they certainly aren’t the success I wish they were.

I don’t know if I can pinpoint one thing and spend the rest of my life being ’successful’ at the cost of other things.

Judy – how many hours do you sleep in a typical night?

Six to eight. Last night 8. The night before 6. The night before 5.

Stacey – Where in the world do you get the energy to do all that you do?

Somedays I think it is creative energy that just needs to escape. Often it is misplaced. Instead of writing yesterday and staying on top of NaNoWriMo I played Zuma’s Revenge.

There is a lot going on in my head and sometimes I can’t focus on being productive in tangible ways.

Right now I am concentrating on cleaning out my house for Fall and downsizing the kids personal possessions.

Lisa – Did you grow up on a farm or did you learn farm life later on in life?

I grew up on a little farm in Georgia. Daddy raised beef cattle. Sometimes I am completely shocked at myself by what I remember or seem to simply know about raising animals. I guess we absorb much simply by being in a certain environment.

Lisa – Who in your family was the biggest influence on you?

My mother and my grandmother were my biggest influence. My mother made me independent and strong, not only by her example but by need and sheer will to survive our circumstance. My grandmother influenced my love of sewing, cooking and gardening.

Lisa – What are you writing your novel about?

This time NaNoWriMo is focused on a little farm in Virginia run by woman who takes in an ex-prisoner – though she doesn’t know it yet. The idea is still unfocused and cloudy and I am trying to work my way through it. I cannot form an outline then create a story around the framework. My characters tell me about themselves as the unfold in words on paper.

I am also having a weird mental block. Maybe it is a Stephen King moment. I am having great difficulty bringing my characters through physical hardships, pain and loss. What if on some plain they come back and blame me for the torturous life they led at my hand???

Now you think I am a nut case.